What if I am just NOT motivated?

September 18, 2008

I have gone through some major life changes in the last few months and I myself have been extremely exhausted–sleeping 10-11 hours every night and still having no energy!  I was so UN motivated and tired to the point of wondering if it was mild depression!  I want to share my story with you for two reasons.  First, I am human too and feel ALL the same things you go through to the extent of my experience.  It’s always amazing to me to hear what clients think I am “like”. I am not super human. Secondly, through my pain and suffering, I hope to provide some hope, insight and maybe a new perspective on your own journey. I also want you to know that I truly understand.

As some if not most of you know, I got married in early August.  In the few months prior to the wedding, I was on “super overdrive” trying to get all details taken care of and to help successfully fund our event. I had a wedding planner (who was great) and that did help but the stress of this undertaking especially when we did it as a destination wedding was HUGE- more than I thought.  Well, more than I was aware at the time.

The wedding was fabulous and the wedding day was stress free thanks to all this planning! On our honeymoon, we got a call from Jeanne Peters who shared with us a “healer” named Ken that creates and works with flower essences.  Jeanne had encouraged us to have a session with him if we could before we left the island.  And we did.

To keep it short and simple, my reading was one of the deepest and intense readings he had ever done.  He said it 4 times in the 45 minutes we spent focused on me. I think he was relieved when my reading was over because he wasn’t used to delivering such powerful news.  Most flower essence readings are “kinda nice” as he described it.

The gist of my reading had to do with very early patterns growing up that I developed to compensate for something I didn’t want to feel.  There has been a feeling for 30+ years that I have NOT allowed myself to feel!  The flower essences were suppose to bring those up in order to balance them and dissolve them.

Let’s just say that for the past few weeks, since returning from the wedding, I have been not motivated, exhausted, depressed, and physically weak.   This phase went on for 3-4 weeks!!  ( I feel better now)  If I didn’t have to leave the house, I wouldn’t.  I even cancelled all my appointments one day because I was immobilized and my body felt heavy and weak.  Even going for a walk would get me in my target heart rate zone!  Just WALKING!  I saw physical effects of my emotions.  I had plenty of rest, I ate fairly well (I am still gluten free) so the only thing it could be was emotional.

Wow.  What do you do when you feel this way?  I had no idea.  Normally, I just talk myself out of it! And choosing your thoughts is how to gain control of your life but I was doing it to AVOID feeling what I felt.  And so the feelings would get “swept under the rug” so to speak and have built up over my life time.

So what if you are not motivated?  I wasn’t.  But what I was- was curious as to WHY.  Of course I have the desire to be as healthy and as fit as I can.  I didn’t like that I wasn’t working out.  I didn’t like feeling exhausted.  But just like a detox, I came to understand what was going on with me to except this”phase”.

Had Ken NOT explained that the emotions would be triggered, I may have not taken the whole prescribed bottle.  But I knew to expect a detox of sorts.  I also while really IN this, made peace with myself, forgave myself and tried to be as loving as I could.  And then it passed.  I didn’t fight it.

For some people, feeling unmotivated is the excuse to stay in that stage longer than you need to.  It could be fear.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success. Fear of lack of support or fear of the unknown.

What is the underlying reason of your lack of motivation?  I believe once you can pinpoint that– it dissolves.

For all the ladies who have made it to the end of this story, Jeanne Peters Rd and I are hosting a women’s only workshop called LOVE YOUR BODY.  It’s happening November 7-9th, 2008.  If you would like to get to the bottom of your lack of motivation or any other feeling that is stopping you from attaining the health and body YOU deserve, call or email to sign up.  We’d love to help you transform your relationship with YOUR body.

Written by JJ Flizanes, Director of Invisible Fitness

800 571 5722



Stress, Weight Gain, and Pain

August 25, 2008

People often don’t take me serious when I suggest that stress (emotional and mental)

may be a strong factor in why they are having pain or can’t seem to lose weight

We live in a society that demands high levels of achievement. The high levels of stress can help move us forward and to cope with life’s demands, but it also affects our mood, emotions and bodies.

We have a flight or fight response to high stress. Whether it’s juggling too many responsibilities or dealing with financial pressures, this heightened emotional state triggers a biochemical process where our bodies go into survival mode. Our bodies store fuel, slow down metabolism, and increase certain hormones (cortisol and leptin are 2) which are likely to cause obesity in the abdominal region.

Some people use food to cope. But, of course, this doesn’t work in the long term because food is a temporary fix–it does not deal with the real stressors or issues that

must be addressed in order to reduce the trigger for eating and fix the problem.

Stress eaters tend to prefer high-carbohydrate and high sugar foods because these foods trigger an increase in the brain chemical serotonin, which has a calming effect. It is almost like self-medicating to make themselves feel better.

Using anti-depressants also increase seretonin but like food, does not fix the underlying problem. Which of course all stems from how we process emotion, how we think and what we believe.

Many authors, from medical to self help , have addressed stress and emotion as the underlying factor for most disease. To name a few:

1. Back, Neck and Shoulder Pain – Dr John Sarno author of Healing Your Back

2. All issues from A-Z- Louise Hay author of Heal Your Body from A-Z and You Can Heal Your Life

3. Food Cravings – Doreen Virtue, PhD Author of Constant Craving, Healing with the Angels cards, Goddess Cards and more!

These are a few books and resources in which I can share personal as well as client and friend stories of curing themselves of pain or finally getting over the hump of weight loss by addressing the underlying issues.

Don’t underestimate the power of your mind and your emotions. They are the life force within you and will create the foundation whether you are aware of it or not.

We can help coach you through the issues to help find the cause and create easy to handle solutions that you can start applying today.  Don’t wait to change your life for the better!!

Written by JJ Flizanes, Director of Invisible Fitness, 800 571 5722, http://www.invisiblefitness.com

Love Your Body

April 18, 2008

On Sunday March 23rd there was an article printed in the LA Times called “Suit Up, Spa
Fans”.  I don’t know if you know this about me, but I love the spa.  I love what the spa represents- freedom. What came over me when I read this was first fear and then anger. Decisions about whether to mandate the use of swimsuits to cover up are being made by spa managers that have their own issues with
their bodies and those of women they know.

One of the managers uses intergenerational as a reason to not want to see her grandmother naked.  I think that’s just an excuse for poor self esteem, judgment and denial.  She calls it awkward-and for her it may be.  I took my mother to a spa recently where I encouraged her to be naked.  Knowing that my mother doesn’t love the way she looks and has been more than slightly disconnected from her femininity and sexuality for a long time, I wanted her to enjoy the freedom of expression that we can only get at a spa
these days.

Not only did I have no problem with it, I encouraged it.  She felt like a young girl in
the hot tub with us as she found her freedom of non judgment and love-she got to just “be”.

The author, who by the way is not in favor of this movement as she explained to me when we exchanged emails, also sites bridal parties, business meetings, and family parties as another reason why they encourage us to suit up.

I guess because people feel they can do business on the golf course and in a lunch meeting, why not the spa? Why shouldn’t women and men everywhere be made to feel inappropriate and uncomfortable about their bodies and cover up to make it socially acceptable? Since when did the spa translate into business meetings?

As a business owner, what has happened to me over the last 8 years is a transformation from 85% feminine energy to 50% or less. I have decided to play ball with the men and focus. I own and run a business, I do my own marketing and selling, I hire staff and support to build my foundation and I do it very well. But these are all traits of men. Back in the caveman years, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. Genetically we are different—yet in today’s world we often act as if we are the same.

I am not supporting the idea that women should stay home and only have babies. But we are genetically built differently and therefore need different things. In the age of the internet, we have also lost touch with visiting each other. How much human contact and interaction has been lost because we can all talk to each other faster and more efficiently over the internet? Again, I love the internet but what has it cost us? Human contact.

In the rat race of getting ahead, women practicing being men more than they practice enhancing their femininity, where finding a suitable mate has become harder and harder- what is out there to support women? The spa.

The spa has been the sanctuary where nothing matters. Relaxation, openness, celebration of the body you were born naked with is what the spa is about.

The first time I saw many women in the spa with bathing suits, the first thing that popped into my mind is the fact that they are ashamed. Ashamed of how they look and what they don’t look like. And by them wearing suits it sent the message that it’s not ok to love yourself the way you are. In order to be naked, you must fit a certain mold of “perfect”.

I thought we should outlaw suits in the spa altogether since it sends a negative vibe to everyone in my opinion.

I work with women everyday who do not love and accept their bodies. I fully support the use of spas regularly for women to get in touch with who they are and to accept themselves just the way they are. Women on the path of wanting change first need to acknowledge what they do have before a permanent change can occur.

Below was my email response to the author who did write back and hoped it may have gotten printed.  I don’t read the paper regularly so if anyone saw it, please let me know!

“Hi Valli

I read your spa article and have to say I am outraged!  This is truly a movement going in the opposite direction of what it is we SAY we want.  Women want to love their bodies, not compare them to supermodels.  I work with hundreds of women of all shapes and sizes and the one thing that is missing from their lives ( and most who struggle with body and self esteem issues) is that they don’t love and accept WHO THEY ARE.

Putting swimsuits on at a spa defeats the whole purpose of the spa!  It’s like taking your Satan worshipping friends to church- THEY DON’T GO.

Where else can women go in a safe, socially acceptable place and JUST BE THEMSELVES?  If you want to put a swimsuit on, go to a public pool.  If you want to have a business meeting, have it at a restaurant or conference room.  If you want a massage, get your massage and leave.  The spa part of the day spa is to relax.  By enhancing the fact that ” you should cover up” sends negative body messages and creates and environment that SUPPORTS ANOREXIA.

Don’t ruin the one place women can be free of judgment and practice loving and accepting themselves as they are in the moment. The US is already screwed up with the views we have of beauty- don’t make it worse.  Keep the spa a spa.  Encourage love not shame.”

5 Things You Can Do to Be Body Ready For Summer!

March 14, 2008

1. Cut Down or Cut Out Starchy Carbs and Sugars: Now you may read that and react because you think it’s too hard……but I challenge you to TRY it for a few weeks. As the weather is warmer and Spring is rolling in, there are more fruits and veggies being made available. I love my bread and cookies/cake too from time to time. But I LOVE feeling amazing in a tight, slender, lean body even more than the 15 minutes of pleasure on my tongue those foods provide. What is that saying out there? ” A minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips”? That is a but dramatic but it begs the question, is it really WORTH it????

2. Try 1 New Fruit or Veggie a Week: Do you know how many fruits and veggies there are out there? Most of us eat the same thing day after day, week after week. Some people prefer the “easy” fruits: banana, berries, apple- because you don’t need to peel anything and they are finger foods. But what about papaya, mango, grapefruit, peaches and guava? Not to mention the veggies that you pass all the time in the grocery store and do not know what they are, what they are for or how they taste. Try one. Do some research on how to cook it. Make it a game in the grocery store.

3. Join a Group or Class: Ever taken a dance class? If you have been reading my stuff for more than a few months, you probably know that I am a salsa dancer/teacher/performer. But I started out IN CLASS. You’d be amazed at how many calories you can burn in a partner social dance class! If dancing doesn’t appeal to you, join an intramural sport. Every city has teams that have seasons. I used to play volleyball when I lived in New York City. My friends and co-workers found a city team to join. You meet new people and have new experiences! Just watch the” after party” aspect. You don’t want to eat or drink back all the good work you did in your sport!

4.Buy a New Outfit or Two for the Summer: Get excited about what’s to come! Know how you want to look and feel in it. Plan a vacation. I am getting married in August and it’s very motivating to want to look my best. Some people are planning for a beach vacation that they want to feel free and energetic while they are there. Choose something that gets you excited!!

5. Find Someone to Become Accountible To: That might mean hire a trainer, coach, nutritionist, etc. You can also make some goals with a friend or spouse. It is TOO easy to get off track and forgive yourself because no one else knows what you committed yourself to. We are accountable in many ways to other people all the time…. for our homes and cars ( the bank), our jobs and children and I am sure many other things. Commit to becoming accountable to YOU and then find support to make that happen!

By JJ Flizanes, Director of Invisible Fitness. We offer fitness training, fitness coaching, workshops and seminars and corporate programs.  http://www.invisiblefitness.com  800 571 5722

I have found the fountain of youth!

January 4, 2008

Dear JJ,

I want to share a conversation I had last week with a new acquaintance. I said my workouts with you had helped change my life! She could only say, ‘”I can’t afford her”; I have no time I am so busy building my business. I just can’t spend this money right now.”

I said, “Are you thinking that JJ’s workout is about just moving your muscles?” For me personally, I experience JJ as a life coach. She shows you how to heal yourself. She shows you how to get stronger. These workouts have changed my workouts from pain to healing. Through these exercises, JJ explains how and why you’re doing every movement a certain way.

JJ is love. She is very dedicated to helping you. I am learning how to eat and make better choices. I feel like I am learning HOW to take care of myself, since I started working with JJ. It has been a better way to take care of myself because she has given me tools to work with like my heart monitor, proper form, and tips for preparing to walk to avoid my reoccurring shin splints!

You get into work you didn’t even know you were capable of! The instruction becomes so fluid your brain / body connection starts cooperating!

But I didn’t realize all this at once. It was my friends and family who started asking me what was I doing differently. I was changing right before their eyes and my attitude and moods had improved so much even my boss took me aside to ask what I was doing. I really was taken off guard. All I could do was smile and tell them about JJ.

She is a very loving and gentle person. JJ makes me feel she cares and she is full of good information. She understands women’s bodies. She understands nutrition. JJ is a good listener. JJ and Jeanne Peters work together and I was fortunate to find them both.

I was 60 when we started working out this past year. My first fear was that I was too old to get results. Every workout for me ended in pain. My knee and hip joints hurt most of all before I started working with JJ.

JJ knows the mind body spirit connection and that is way true healing can take place. And you know the law of attraction and that we are all one. It is great to have a person like this in your corner. We all need a coach to put it all together.

The most frequent comment I hear is that I now look younger. Did I find the fountain of youth? I believe I did.

Sharon Gelafio


Why you should NOT make a New Year’s resolution for fitness!

January 4, 2008

How many times have you said “My resolution for this year is to lose weight?” Or “eat better” Or any one of the many ways you could frame taking better care of your fitness or health?


And how many people KEEP that? The fitness and diet industry knows that millions of people make that resolution- it’s the biggest season of the financial year for us!


But then what happens? January people are gung ho and join a gym, buy the running shoes, set the clock earlier to get the workout in and start making healthier food choices.


This usually lasts 2-4 weeks. Once February rolls around and after you’ve missed a few workouts, had an extra dessert a few nights and partied it up at the Super bowl party– a lot of people throw in the towel.


They expect to see results fast. They make BIG changes quickly and find it hard to keep them up after a few weeks.


The habit is to say you want to lose weight or get healthy. Most people think that means they will put 15% effort into it daily and the rest of their life doesn’t need to shift.


Changing your body means changing your life. You eat 2-6 times a day. Every day you get up and everyday you go to sleep. The defining factor in changing your body and health for good is what you believe and therefore how you act- all the time.


What do you tell yourself before you eat? What do you tell yourself about working out?Do you justify putting everyone else and your work before you? If you think adding exercise and “trying” to be more conscious of food is going to work in the long run, you have probably been making a new year’s resolution about this for many years-unsuccessfully.


So what do you do?


1. If you are not ready to change your life, one step at a time, then I would reframe your resolution. You set yourself up to fail by setting such a big goal without being willing to make the necessary shifts to support it.

2. Change one thing at a time and do not expect miraculous results quickly.

3. And get some help. I’d suggest a fitness/life coach over a trainer or a trainer that coaches so you can start to analyze what it is you believe and what limiting beliefs you have that keep you where you are. If you have made this resolution for more than 3 years and you are still not at your goal, it’s time to get some help.



We offer fitness/life coaching. We believe that is the way to achieve lasting results.Having a trainer is nice. Most people work hard with someone there. But the pitfall is how you behave when they aren’t there. We want to make you accountable to yourself first (as well as us) and set you up with the tools to support you forever.



Written by J.J. Flizanes, Director of Invisible Fitness. 800 571 5722, www.invisiblefitness.com

Top 10 Fitness Tips for Success!

December 13, 2007

  1. Stop stepping on the scale. Do it ONCE and then put it away for at least the entire month- or 2. Scales throw off your emotions and give you feedback that is inaccurate to what you are looking for. It’s not worth the upset and it’s a narrow focus. I have clients on the 90 Day Health and Body Makeover weight in at the beginning and then commit to not stepping on the scale at all for 3 months.
  2. Start logging your food. Most of us do not really pay attention to what we eat so we are “shocked” when we gain weight, even on an exercise program. Logging your food will also bring conscious awareness to how you feed yourself. This awareness can help you change your patterns and get you to your goals. Carry a note pad in your purse or car so you can log your meals in a timely manner after you finish them so you do not forget. If you wait til the end of the day, the task feels more overwhelming and you’re likely to forget something.
  3. Schedule your workouts. Put them on the calendar or in your palm pilot or blackberry just like any other meeting or event. If you do not make time for it, time does not just “appear”. We all have the same 24 hours in a day-blocking out time for you is not only important for your health but also in setting an example of your importance to your family, friends and collegues.
  4. Post pictures of yourself or a fitness and health example of what you would like to achieve as a reminder and motivator. You can also make a vision board to inspire you. Pictures and images translate energy to us subconsciously. If you intend something to happen and then support your efforts with energetic triggers such as a vision board- you will get there faster.
  5. Stock up on fruits and veggies for snacks and make them VISIBLE and AVAILABLE in your refrigerator. If you don’t see it immediately, you will forget it’s there! Make them finger foods at your disposal.
  6. Drink water! The body converts fat into energy and releases fat IN WATER. Your body fights disease and toxins in water. All of your body’s functions have to happen in water. If you are dehydrated, you are slowing down your body’s ability to change. Drink at least 4-6, 10 oz glasses or bottles a day.
  7. Get your 7-8 hours of sleep EVERY night. When your body is stressed and not completely rested, your cortisol levels increase and the body holds onto fat as well. Your body changes ” in rest”, not in work. When you sleep less you also overeat. Your body needs energy so you think food will satisfy that and it doesn’t. Not getting enough sleep can sabotage a weight loss plan.
  8. Add resistance training to your workout plan. This is your long term investment for strong bones and a healthy metabolism. You increase your resting metabolism ONLY by adding lean muscle. Fat is inactive tissue and does not need energy. Muscle requires energy and also helps get that sleek, sexy, tight look in your body.
  9. Use a heart rate monitor when doing cardio. This should be one of the most important tools you use. If you are doing cardio without a heart rate monitor- how do you know if you are being effective and efficient? How else can you tell when it’s time to increase your intensity? Why waist time and plateau? I recommend and carry the Polar F6.
  10. Read labels. Know what you are eating. Read the ingredients- do you know what everything is? The more natural and clean you can eat- the better you will look and feel.